


“Fuck Off.”

by Cool_Conoot



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Child Abuse, Eating Disorder, F/M, Fluffy solangelo, Give Nico a hug, Imnotgoodattags, Love, M/M, New fandom writing, Percy Jackson is not Nico di Angelo's Type, Rape, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Triggers, ffs I need a hug, fluffy healing, idk - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, sorryifigetstuffwrong, sorryifitsshitty, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-23 01:17:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14321370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cool_Conoot/pseuds/Cool_Conoot
Summary: After getting drunk with his friends and mistakenly calling(and treating someone like) Bianca. People ask questions. Nico went missing for a day. He does that sometimes so no one gets too worried but Will. Will is concerned about Nico’s behavior and how he was acting when he thought someone was Bianca even though he was drunk.Nico gets lost and attacked. He shadow travels to the underworld seeking help but gets none. The only thing he got from the underworld is worse. Once he finally gets back he doesn’t really talk much, when he does he just says “fuck off.”. Everyone’s been asking questions and Will seems to finally get an answer.(Sorry if my writing is shitty, if you see a spelling error blame my shaky hands but if my writing just sucks then sorry dude.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all don’t read this if you get triggered by self harm or attempted suicide or gore or rape or so on. Y’all this is shitty. Sorry sorry I’ll stop saying Y’all now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s 4 am give me a fucking break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all my phone got run over in a storm and this is late because I had to get a new phone.

If there was one good think about Nico’s outings. He was never gone for more than 24 hours. Except this time. Will had been reading Bianca’s journal and he didn’t like how vague she was or that when it wasn’t vague it was horrible to read. Hazel has been sitting next to Will for three hours now. Two hours ago it passed 24 hours since Nico left again. They had checked everywhere. Percy and Annabeth were patrolling for him and Jason was waiting in his cabin seeing if Nico showed up. 

Hazel and Will were in the infirmary in case someone found him and he was hurt. That didn’t happen, not because he wasn’t hurt, but because he was still in the underworld. 

Hades was yelling things at him. Perspherone was frightened but didn’t get in the way of what was going on. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Nico being beaten or raped. It bothered her a lot she just didn’t get in the way. 

After a week of hearing him screaming in pain she couldn’t take it. Perspherone has enough of it. She went to see Nico who was currently curled up in the corner. She didn’t notice the blood spilling from his arms when she walked up. “I can’t take this anymore.” She sent him back to camp. She didn’t know where at camp and she didn’t care she just couldn’t stand the screaming. But she didn’t realize it when she sent him away but he was completely silent. 

Percy woke up in the middle of the night. The others were woken up by him running in and yelling about something they couldn’t make out. Will was the first one up “what is it seaweed brain?” Annabeth asked him. “There’s something in the water I think it might be Nico. Ug just hurry up and follow me!” They all ran after Percy who dived straight into the water and came back nearly a minute later with a body in his arms. Will instructed Percy to lay him on his back on the ground. 

Will did everything he could think of but he couldn’t seem to get a heartbeat. They thought they had lost him until Hazel had hit him on the chest so hard it restarted his heart. He sat up after being hit and coughed out all the water from his lungs. Everyone rejoiced and tried to hug him but he screamed “fuck!” And grabbed his wrists and hunched over. The wounds on his back were bleeding and now that he was back he was trying to hide the fact that he had two slash marks on his wrists going straight down his arms. Will told everyone to back up so they did. “Hey neeks, I’m going to take your shirt off. I need to take a look at your injuries.” Will couldn’t imagine what excruciating pain Nico felt having salt water and sand in all of his injuries so of course he was scared to try taking the small boys shirt off. As soon as he started taking the shirt off Nico flinched and stood up “I can deal with it myself, so just fuck off!” Nico yelled at them. He looked back up to see how terrified his friends looked. He felt guilty. “Nico were here to help you. Just come with us and we can clean you up a bit.” Jason tried to get him to let them help but he just backed away further. “No... just leave me alone...” he was barely audible anymore but some could still hear it “Nico were trying to help you.” Percy said calmly “yeah, c’mon buddy let’s just get away from the water.” Annabeth joined in. “Neeks come on if you wait just a few minutes with these guys you can sleep for however long you want again, ok?” Hazel reached out for his hand and he just looked at it for a moment before bolting. He ran even though it hurt and he felt like he was going to pass out, he ran with just his adrenaline carrying him and when he couldn’t run anymore he shadow traveled. He went back to the bathroom in his cabin. 

Hazel started crying after Nico started running. Percy stayed behind with her while the rest ran after Nico. They couldn’t find him. “Damnit. Where could he have gone?” Annabeth said frustratedly. “Ok Annabeth, you check any high places in the woods, Jason check the rest of the woods, I’ll check the camp grounds starting with his cabin. He couldn’t have gone that far.” They nodded and split up. 

Will bursted into the Hades cabin which was empty. He checked the bathroom since the door was closed and he could hear the water running. He sighed and took a seat on Nico’s bed. No one but Nico and Hazel lived in the Hades cabin so he knew it could only be Nico in the shower. A few minutes later the water turned off but no one came out of the bathroom yet. Will waited for a while but still no one came out of the bathroom. He was fine sitting there, if not a bit bored, but he was concerned. In fear of what could’ve happened, he knocked on the door. “Nico? Are you alright?” He asked trying to open the door but failing because it was locked. A few moments later the door opened to reveal a skeleton who soon disappeared. Behind the skeleton Nico was on the floor looking much paler than he did a week ago. His wrists had been stitched up with clear thread that was in the cabinet in case someone needed to be stitched up but didn’t want anyone to know. Nico used it a lot. 

A moment after he had walked in he snapped back to reality and lifted Nico’s head up “hey, hey, hey, don’t fall asleep, whatever you do Nico just don’t fall asleep yet.” Will tried to keep Nico awake while he checked his vitals. “Fuck off, Solace...” Nico grumbled. “Ok good, you can speak, does anywhere hurt?” Will was scared and yet still focused on the task at hand, making sure Nico didn’t die. “Your face is going to hurt if you don’t fuck off.” Nico said still sounding drowsy. “I’m glad you feel well enough to threaten me.” Will said smiling. He set Nico upright so he could dry his soaking wet hair. 

Hazel made a deal with Will and Jason, Nico wouldn’t have to stay with all the other injured people but Hazel and Jason had to take turns staying with him. He rarely if ever spoke to anyone and he kept doing reckless things that pissed people off, like hang out on the roof of the hades cabin smoking weed, or raising the dead to do things for him when he didn’t want to do them or doing weird things like lay in bed for 43 hours straight while awake just laying there in the same spot staring at the same spot on the ceiling, or leaving for 20 minuets and having no one know where he went or getting high in a tree. Seriously no one could figure out where or how he was getting weed he just seemed to have it. 

Nico was getting skinnier. They thought he had no more weight to loose but somehow he just looked more and more like a skeleton. It wasn’t just that he was skeletally skinny but his skin seemed like a blue tone, especially his fingers and toes, his skin felt like he was dead and he looked like he had starved to death but somehow his heart kept beating. Someone had joked it was still beating because of all the coffee he kept drinking.

Even though it was warm he still wore his hoodie and black pants and never anything else which also probably wasn’t good for him. 

His friends and half sister, none of which he had spoken to since a month ago when he got back, had planned an intervention. So they cornered him, not realizing he was high they tried to get him to talk to them but he still said nothing. So they had another cabin put a truth curse on him for a day and cornered him then. At the time he was drunken, high and cursed so he spoke. Here’s how it went down. 

“Nico, your drinking and smoking and weight problems have raised some concerns we have. We need you to talk to us and tell us what’s going on.” Hazel said sitting next to Nico on his bed. “Buddy, a month ago you appeared back here at camp bleeding from your back and arms and we want to know what happened and who did those things to you.” Percy said to him, hoping he would crack and tell them everything “ya really wanna know?” Nico asked looking at them in disbelief. “Yes.” They all said simultaneously. “Well fine. I guess I don’t really have a choice but to talk. But after I tell you can I go to sleep?” Everyone nodded, taking a seat on the bed or floor they all listened to everything Nico said while under the influence of alcohol, a curse and weed.

To Be Continued.


	2. Nico’s Journal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the content of Nico’s journal that he gave his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all I’m sick as fukk  
> allergies man

“How about instead of me telling you then I get to sleep I just sleep while you read it for yourselves. That way when I punch you in the face for trying to hug me I’ll remember it.” Nico grabbed a book from in between his mattress and the bed frame and threw it at them gently so it wouldn’t tear but someone could catch it. “Now fuck off.” Nico said turning away from them to face the wall. The five all left and went to a different cabin so Nico could get some much needed sleep since sleeping was something that Nico had barely done since getting back. 

chapter 3: Nico’s Journal. 

“here goes nothing. June 2nd 1936. Underworld. Here’s my first log for the journal Bianca gave me. I’ve decided to make some of it about my home life. Home life meaning the beatings and why they occur. I got hit this because I got in the way when I caught My father hitting Bianca for what seemed like the hundredth time and I ran to her defense like always. He told me ‘‘boy, if you don’t get out of the way I’ll hit you instead.’’ I told him he could do whatever he wanted to me as long as he left Bianca alone. 

October 15th 1936. Underworld. It’s been months since I traded places with Bianca. I keep her safe and in turn she keeps me happy. We’re keeping each other happy like we always do. 

April 30th 1938. Mortal realm. Despite the bruises on my skin I’ve made a friend at school. He’s cute and he has sandy blond hair and beautiful green eyes, his name is Samuel. I wonder what this feeling I get about him is.

April 30th 1939. Underworld. In two days it’ll be a year ago since dad killed Samuel. He found my notebook and told me he didn’t raise me to be a homosexual and he killed my only friend in front of me. Three days ago dad got drunk and thought I was his wife. It was the scariest thing he’d ever done to me. Bianca found me afterward and she’s taking me to a place called The Lotus Hotel tomorrow. Not sure why or how long were staying but she did say it’ll be an interesting trip. 

???? ???? ????. Underworld. I don’t know when it is or what happened. I’ve been confined to my room for days now. The only person who walks in or out of my room is my father. I don’t know what’s going on but he’s gotten worse. He’s been giving me more than just bruises now and apparently April 27th wasn’t the only time he wanted to do that to me. Mom is dead. Bianca is dead. I’ve got nothing to live for. 

???? ???? ????. Underworld. The last time I logged in here I tried to kill myself after my father decided to rape me again. That wasn’t the last time it happened but I’m not sure when all this will stop. My father says I’m useless and good for nothing. He’s not wrong I’ll give him that. 

September 7th ????. Camp Half-Blood. My father has lost interest in me. He still likes to whip my back and break my ribs though so I’ve been staying out of trouble. I’ve come to a camp and decided to stay here year round. There’s a few nice people here. But they’re all so happy it’s annoying. There’s a guy here, Percy Jackson. He’s handsome, I’ll give him that, but not my type. Besides he’s got a crush on the daughter of Athena, Annabeth. His friend Grover is also nice but is kinda strange. There’s Jason Grace, also not my type. He treats me like a little brother and all I want to do is punch him in the face. Hazel has a boyfriend, I’ve told him if he hurts her I’ll hurt him. There’s a guy here who’s strange. He’s a son of Apollo, his name is Will. He’s a healer and has those eyes you could stare into for hours. He loves singing and it’s actually kinda cute but his ukulele playing is endless. It’s kinda cute. 

February 12th ????. Camp Half-Blood. Apparently the tourture I’ve endured made me feel I need pain, my legs especially my thighs are a canvas now. Covered in red roses of blood. I’ve cut out chunks of my skin to make roses. Maybe then if my body is covered in something beautiful I’ll stop being atrocious and maybe I’ll look a bit better if I wasn’t fat and disgusting like my father says. Maybe I’ll pass on dinner.

???? ???? ????. Camp Half-Blood. I was back in the underworld for a week and my father decided to torture me as much as possible while I was there. I don’t know the time or what day it is. I don’t know the year or the month. My body is weak but apparently even after throwing up after almost every meal I’m still a pig like he says. Someone told me the only reason my heart is still beating is because of the coffee I keep drinking. I can’t stop. Every time I close my eyes it’s just one of the terrible things I’ve seen. My voice is scratchy and my throat is so dry it burns. Merijuhana seems to be helping and the alcohol I’ve found seems to keep me away from my thoughts. I don’t want to be sober for even a moment because when I’m not life is still a living underworld. No one leaves me alone anymore so I’ve been sneaking off. In the 20 minuets I get alone I carve out a flower and patch it up so no one can see the blood. After that I get high even though I’m still high off of the feeling that pain gives me. It’s hard to eat without throwing up. Though I know if I just don’t eat my body will store what fat I have on me so I just throw up after I eat. My father still says I’m too overweight. 

???? ???? ???? Camp Half-Blood. It’s hard not to just rip out the skin on my arm and be done with it but that would be too bloody. I wonder how many pills it would take until I die. After all I am death kid so it would make sense for me to die. If that doesn’t work maybe I’ll go to Italy and carve out my wrists where Bianca and my mother were buried. Or maybe not. They probably wouldn’t want my dead body anywhere near them. Maybe not yet though. I don’t want Hazel to go through what I do every time I’m in the underworld just because I’m dead.

???? ???? ???? camp half-blood. I’ve been blacking our recently. Doing things I don’t remember. It’s probably the mix of alcohol and weed but still. Imagine hours where you did something but not remember a single bit. I don’t know who’d be imagining that because this is just a book no one will ever get to read. When I’m not hurting myself or laying there stuck in my head I don’t remember much. Staying awake is so hard and I keep seeing things. Weird things. I know these things aren’t actually there because no one else sees them when I ask. She’s starring at me from the corner of my eye just watching me and waiting. I think she’s waiting for me to die. She’s taunting me. She said it’s my fault she left and got killed. Because she couldn’t stand me and how I had ruined her life. They both keep talking endlessly. Mom keeps saying I shouldn’t have been born and Bianca says I kill everyone I touch. She’s right.

???? ???? ???? Camp half-blood. Grover found me in the woods while I was lost once. He’s very kind so I made him promise not to touch me. We talk now and then and he told me how frail I am. I tried to stop my eating habits but I failed. Everything just tastes like dirt. I can’t keep anything in my stomach for long because it all still tastes like dirt. The only thing I can taste is chocolate or spicy things and still most spicy things Grover found for me taste like spicy dirt. Grover helped me find out that the only thing I seem to be able to keep down that doesn’t taste like dirt is chocolate pudding. I don’t hate sitting in the forest talking and eating with him. But even though I can keep it down doesn’t mean I can always keep it down. The satyr found me with a knife to my throat and still followed my no touching rule. He’s a good friend but if my father ever found out I’m even friends with a boy he’d kill him. Grover doesn’t deserve that. He’s a good person. Unlike me.

???? ???? ???? ????. I don’t know where I am but I feel like I’m not anywhere. In my three hours that I’ve been just laying here looking at the ceiling I seem to have created a place in my head. I can’t see the real world right now or hear it and the only thing I know is real is this book. It’s the only thing I can feel. In my last attempt to get out I’ve decided to stab my hand. Once I do that if I’m still in my brain space I’ll know I’m as good as dead.

I’ve patched up my hand and I know where I am now. I’m still in the Hades cabin at camp half-blood. There’s a knife next to me that I used to stab my hand and now that I’m back my mom and Bianca are taunting me again. I am fully aware I’m experiencing hallucinations from the lack of sleep but it just feels so real.


	3. The actual Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finds Grover but Will finds something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t judge me on my shitty 4am writing. I’ll probably edit this when I wake up or when I get home from places tomorrow.

“What does all this mean then? What do we do now that we know?” Jason asked. “I think we need to ask Grover how much he knows. After that we should consult Chiron on where to go from here.” Annabeth said. “Great let’s find Grover.” Percy said before walking outside. As soon as he stepped outside he spotted Grover chasing after something that looked shadowy. It disappeared as soon as he caught up to it. They all ran up to Grover and Will was the first to say anything “who, or what were you just chasing?” Was the first question. “It was Nico. He freaked out and started running and trying to shadow travel at the same time. I know I shouldn’t have chased him but it was a reflex.” Grover said with a sigh. “Grover we wanted to ask you about Nico if you didn’t mind.” Annabeth said. Grover looked curious but accepted.

“How much do you know about Nico’s home life? Did you know about the beatings or any of the other stuff? What all did he tell you?” Annabeth was egar to get answers. They all were though. Nico was their friend after all though to will he was more than that. “Yeah? How did all of you guys know?” Grover asked “he threw his journal at us and told us to fuck off.” Will answered. “Anyways how much did he tell you? What do you know?” Jason asked. 

“Well, I know his dad enjoys whipping and beating him, he also said his dad enjoyed... uhm... raping him... well I know about everything in the book and more so that’s what I know.” Grover said hesitantly. “Can you tell us where all of his places are that he might go when he disappears? Or anything else about what hes said to you?” Percy asked. 

“Whenever he shadow travels he usually doesn’t go far, his usual places are Thalia’s tree, accidental water travels where he shows up again in the lake, the Hades cabin’s bathroom or the cave under the hill. But here’s what I know, he’s got an eating disorder and he’s got barely any, if any, muccile on him. He’s like a stic figure but with more detail and thin lines. Um he strongly believes that his being gay is wrong and that he’s a bad person for living, he also thinks anyone who touches him will die painfully and sooner than they should. He can’t sleep because all he dreams about is death and Tartarus or his father. He believes everything his father says about him. He’s got mad hallucinations which he believes everything they say as well. He’s not afraid of dying because he thinks if he dies then whoever has touched him won’t die horribly and prematurely and that no one will notice he’s gone. He’s definitely depressed though but I’m surprised no one has noticed because he doesn’t show his hips or legs like, ever. He’s got a weed problem but the weed is just to help him stay calm but the alcohol is worse but he’s trying to cut back on it. Anything else you need to know?” Grover told with a question at the end. “No, but thank you so much for helping us though Grover. You really are a good friend.” Percy said hugging the Satyr. “No problem but I’m guessing you’re going to look for him now so if you have any questions come find me.” Grover said and we all nodded. 

“Will, check the cabin, Percy the lake, I’ll check the tree and Jason can help me search the forest. If anyone finds him bring him to the medical building immediately. Let’s meet back up at the medical building in 20 minuets.” Annabeth told the group their instructions and everyone split up to search. 

In the Hades cabin bathroom there was a black haired boy on the ground. He got dizzy and had a headache and decided to take the whole bottle of painkillers that he had for bad days in the underworld. Before he had done it his body hurt, his legs were covered in painful cuts and so were his hips, his head felt like someone took a knife to it and started stabbing. He couldn’t walk straight or even stand up straight(but then again he was having trouble being straight too.). He tried walking to his bed but he fell down somewhere else. He could see his bed a few feet away but he couldn’t get there so he just stayed on the ground. He thought to himself for a few minutes looking up at his mother and Bianca who were smiling down at him. “Sorry...” was all he mumbled before he passed out. 

A few minutes later when Will entered the Hades cabin he was met with the unpleasant stench of blood and his friend/crush on the ground. Will assessed the situation and figured out that Nico had taken too much of some type of medicine. Will sprung into action. He wouldn’t let his friend, the boy he’d fallen for since he first laid eyes on die. He couldn’t.

Will managed to get the small boy to throw up what little stomach content he had. Little as in water and painkillers. “You asshole... what were you thinking?!” Will said while holding Nico in his arms. “Sorry...” Nico spoke in a gruff voice. “You scared us all half to death. Now tell me why you’re sorry and what all you did to hurt yourself so I can start to clean you up.” Will said to the boy he was holding in his arms bridal style. “I got blood on your clothes.” Was all Nico answered with. “Oh. Well I can just wash it off. Now talk, deathboy.” Will said carrying the light boy to the medical building. Nico didn’t say anything and that alone scared the shit out of Will. “Nico?” Will said trying to get a response from the limp body he was holding. Will panicked and put his ear to Nico’s chest. “Slow...” Will mentally noted. When he got to the camps medical facility that he worked in he set Nico down on one of the beds. He stopped and was afraid. Nico’s hips and thighs were bleeding but he was scared if he tried to take Nico’s pants off he might accidentally trigger him and he didn’t want that.

Will decided not to risk it and he just healed what he could and waited for his friends to show up. While waiting he checked on Nico. “Slow but stable heart rate.” He said to no one before taking a flashlight pen and checking the boys pupil dialation hoping nothing was wrong. When his friends showed up they all started asking questions all at once. “Everyone calm down. Now, Hazel I think you should go in there and just sit with him for a while, even though he’s passed out his unconscious state is unknown and it might be better having you there.” Will requested. Hazel of course went to see Nico and after she was gone he could explain. He didn’t want to upset Hazel.

“So when I got there I found him unconscious on the floor, his head had a cut on it, most likely from falling down and hitting his head, his thighs were bleeding but I didn’t want him to wake up in a panic if I took off his pants to check the injury. He had taken a bottle of painkillers and took however many were in the bottle. I managed to get him to throw a large amount up but I can’t be sure how much is still in his system or how long he’ll be unconscious for. He could be unconscious for a few minutes or a few weeks. It’s impossible to tell right now unless you can see the future.” Will explained. “Then let’s pray to Apollo to help us help our friend.” Annabeth said.


End file.
